


drift apart

by laurenjauregui



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-08-29 13:08:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8490949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurenjauregui/pseuds/laurenjauregui
Summary: Lauren Jauregui and Lucy Vives were best friends who eventually drifted apart from each other. Lauren caught up in the whirlwind of fame caused by being in the girl group Fifth Harmony, and Lucy with school and college and travelling. One night, they're drawn back together again.(Laucy, non AU.)





	1. I

**_Lauren (12:04AM): Hey_ **

**_Lauren (12:04AM): I know you’re probably asleep right now, but I’m doing this on impulse and maybe I’ll regret it when you read these messages, but whatever._ **

**_Lauren (12:05AM): I miss you. A lot. I don’t know if it’s because I feel so down lately or what. All I know is that I miss you. We haven’t spoken properly for nearly two years, but we were best friends at one point, the point in my life when I was happy, so that has to count for something, right?_ **

**_Lauren (12:05AM): People drift apart and that’s just life. But who says I can’t pull people back in?_ **

**_Lauren (12:05AM): Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I miss you. And if you don’t want to text me back, that’s fine. The ball’s in your court. Goodnight. x_ **

Lucy stares down at the messages in disbelief, because the last thing she’d expected when her phone had buzzed was messages from Lauren Jauregui one of her former best friends. Now a current member of Fifth Harmony, the biggest girl group in the world.

They’d stopped talking in late 2013, when Lauren was caught up with the start of her fame and Lucy was miles away from her in Puerto Rico. They rarely saw each other, and they’d promised to text and call on a regular basis. Eventually, texts thinned out and calls stopped coming, and their friendship just fizzled out of existence. The last text Lucy had received from Lauren was on her eighteenth birthday, and it wasn’t an essay like the message she’d gotten for her seventeenth. It was just a quick and brief _happy birthday_ with a smiley face stuck on the end.

That’s why the texts staring back at her now are so surprising, because Lauren hadn’t bothered messaging her for her nineteenth birthday earlier that year, and yet she’s getting five messages out of nowhere.

After having some sort of staring match with the texts, trying to figure out if they’re actually there or not, Lucy thinks _fuck it_ and texts back.

**_Lucy (12:07AM): i’m here if you still are_ **

**_Lucy (12:07AM): if you want to talk to me about something, i’m all ears. i’ve heard that talking to strangers can help._ **

**_Lauren (12:07AM): You’re not a stranger. Don’t call yourself that._ **

**_Lucy (12:08AM): i might as well be. we haven’t spoken for two years, like you said._ **

**_Lauren (12:08AM): I fucking miss you, Luc. I miss our friendship._ **

**_Lauren (12:08AM): Come and visit me._ **

The request takes Lucy off guard completely, because if anything she was expecting a late night chat, and then communication to fizzle out again. Not for Lauren to actively try to rebuild the friendship they had.

While Lucy isn’t quite sure that they can go back to what they were like before, if Lauren’s willing to try, she might as well take a chance.

**_Lucy (12:09AM): are you in miami?_ **

**_Lauren (12:09AM): No. We’re touring right now, but I’m allowed a guest for a couple of dates. Two weeks to be exact._ **

**_Lauren (12:09AM): You can be my guest. If you want._ **

**_Lucy (12:10AM): wouldn’t you rather have your mom or alexa or someone?_ **

**_Lauren (12:10AM): I’m asking you, aren’t I? You’re who I want there. Unless you don’t want to._ **

**_Lauren (12:10AM): Which is totally fine. I get it if you think it’d be awkward._ **

It’d definitely be awkward. Lucy knows that for a fact. They haven’t spoken in two years, and she can practically feel Lauren’s awkwardness through the screen of her phone.

**_Lucy (12:11AM): call me_ **

She doesn’t expect Lauren to call. She figures the younger girl would tell her to forget about her offer and they’d stop talking again. But when her phone rings and a picture of sixteen year old Lauren and herself flashes on her screen, Lucy doesn’t hesitate to answer.

There’s a moment of silence, and then she hears a raspy voice that’s all too familiar through the phone. “ _Hey_.”

“Hi,” Lucy cautiously replies, “are you serious about this? You could spend two weeks with your family or your best friend, but you’re calling me up in the middle of the night and asking me to ditch college to come on tour with you.”

Lauren’s silent for a moment, and then Lucy hears a small sigh. _“It’s stupid and impulsive and I know that. Forget it. I shouldn’t have asked.”_

“I didn’t say that,” Lucy quickly interrupts before Lauren can hang up on her, “I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing. And that you’re not drunk or something.”

“ _Of course I’m not drunk. Just… feeling weird tonight.”_ Lauren sighs again and Lucy kind of feels the urge to hug her. _“I just miss you, Luc. You were like, the one person I related to more than anyone. Sure, Lex is my best friend, but we were like… soulmates. Kind of. I miss just clicking with someone like that, and if we were that close once… then we can be close again. That’s why I want you to come.”_

Lucy delays her answer to Lauren’s request. “You said in your first text that you were feeling down lately. Why’s that?”

 _“It was my second text, actually_ ,” Lauren retorts, _“and yeah. Everything just seems kind of bleak lately. Tour is sucking all of my energy out of me and the girls aren’t exactly making me feel any better?”_

“Why not?” Lucy frowns to herself. “As far as I was aware, you guys were like sisters.”

“ _Yeah. Were.”_ Lauren says. “ _I’m still close with Mani. She’s been like, my rock lately. Dinah’s just kind of oblivious to everything, and Ally’s a total sunshine, but we don’t talk about deep stuff anymore. We’re kind of drifting and that sucks. And Camila… she’s kind of distant with all of us lately. But things have sucked between us for a while.”_

Lucy has a feeling she knows the answer to the next question. “Why?”

“ _The whole Camren thing, Luc,”_ Lauren tells her what she already knew, _“I mean, I guess part of it’s my fault. I distanced myself from her when it all started getting to me and now we’re just kind of… awkward acquaintances.”_

“I never understood why that bothered you so much,” Lucy voices her train of thought, “I get that it was annoying, but it seemed to bug you way more than it annoyed Camila.”

 _“It didn’t bother me at first,”_ Lauren admits, “ _I thought it was funny. But then they got into my head and that’s when I realised it was getting out of hand. They still haven’t stopped. I guess they never will.”_

Lucy frowns to herself. “They got into your head?”

Lauren is completely silent, and for a moment, Lucy thinks she’s hung up. She’s about to say something when Lauren’s voice comes through, almost at a whisper. “ _I’m bisexual. But I wasn’t ready to- it really fucked me up. I was constantly paranoid because I didn’t know if I actually liked girls or if the things they were saying had gotten to me so much that I was like, projecting feelings or something. God, I’m sorry, I’m completely crossing a line here, you don’t have to-”_

“Lo,” Lucy interrupts her, finally having made her decision, “it’s okay. You can talk to me about anything. Besides, I get it. I’m bi too, remember?”

“ _Yeah,”_ Lauren mumbles, “ _I didn’t forget. I was always confused at how you were so proud and open and certain about it. I didn’t think I’d ever reach that point.”_

“Well, have you?” Lucy asks. “Do you think you’ll ever come out to the Harmonizers?”

 _“God no,”_ Lauren almost laughs, and Lucy can’t help but crack a smile, “ _they’d just relate it to the Camren thing. I’m comfortable enough to tell… a few people. My family know. So does Alexa. The girls don’t know though.”_

“You told me.” Lucy points out. “And let’s face it, we’re basically strangers now. That counts for something.”

 _“You get it, though. You’re not going to reject me because you’re bi too,”_ Lauren replies, and Lucy had kind of hoped she’d ignore that technicality. “ _And I told you not to call yourself a stranger.”_

Even though she’s right, and they _are_ basically strangers, Lucy doesn’t give a fuck anymore. Like Lauren said, they were close at one point, and maybe they can control who they drift apart from.

“Lauren,” Lucy lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding before continuing. “I’ll come on tour with you.”


	2. II

When Lucy hears that her plane will be beginning its descent, she kind of freaks out. Mostly because once she’s collected her suitcase and headed out the _arrivals_ door, she’ll be with Lauren. Someone she hasn’t been with in two years.

She’s definitely not prepared for the impending awkwardness.

Sure, they’ve been texting, but that’s nothing compared to two weeks of being together with not much to talk about. They’ve both probably changed a lot in the time they’ve been apart, and neither of them know if they have any common ground or not.

Lucy feels a little guilty when she hopes her suitcase takes forever to come so she can put off the awkward greeting, but naturally it’s one of the first off the luggage carousel. She knows that Lauren’s out there waiting for her – when she’d switched her phone off airplane mode, she’d received a text saying _at the airport, waiting by vending machine x_ – and while ripping off the bandaid quickly is her general way of going about things like this, she wants to put it off a little.

After lingering around the bathrooms for a few moments, Lucy thinks _fuck it_ , and with her heart pounding in her chest, she makes her way out of the arrivals gate and spots Lauren with a security guard.

Almost as if Lauren has some kind of built-in Lucy sensor, she looks up and meets her gaze. Lucy sends her an awkward smile, and Lauren does the last thing she expects, and runs for her, pulling her in for a bear hug and nearly knocking her off her feet.

“Hey, Luc,” Lauren murmurs into her neck, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Lucy slowly wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist and gives her a small squeeze. “You didn’t have to come and pick me up from the airport, you know.”

“Security guards don’t exactly give the warmest of welcomes,” Lauren points out, finally pulling away and sending her a grin, her green eyes just as bright as Lucy remembers, “I wanted to come by myself, but I wasn’t allowed. At least he can carry your suitcase, saves me from doing it.”

Lucy snorts. “I can carry my own suitcase, thanks.”

“Lucia Vives, let me be a good hostess,” Lauren grabs her suitcase when she’s not expecting and immediately hands it over to the security guard, “how’ve you been?”

“Fine. Kind of...” Lucy trails off and shrugs, “I’ve been okay. You?”

“Wait, no,” Lauren shakes her head, “kind of what?”

“Well, I mean, I have to admit,” Lucy pauses and lets out a long sigh, “I was kind of dreading this. Only a little bit. I felt like maybe it’d be awkward since we haven’t seen each other in so long.”

Instead of getting upset with her, Lauren does the opposite. She shrugs and sends her a teasing grin. “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”

“I guess you’re right,” Lucy agrees, “so… I figure we have a long drive to the venue you’re playing tonight, right?”

Lauren lets out a laugh and watches as the security guard puts Lucy’s suitcase in the trunk, before she opens the older girl’s car door for her. “Yeah. About… forty minutes. Plus traffic.”

“Alright then,” Lucy replies as she buckles herself in, “update me on your life, Lauren Michelle. I want details. Everything that’s happened since we stopped talking.”

Lauren frowns as she gets into the car after Lucy. “That’s two years’ worth of gossip, Luc.”

“And we have a forty minute car ride plus traffic,” Lucy reminds hers, “ _also_ the next two weeks together. I think you have plenty of time to fill me in.”

Lauren laughs. “Alright. Good point. What do you want to know?”

“How’s your family?” Lucy asks the first thing on her mind, because at one point, Clara and Mike were like second parents and Chris and Taylor like little siblings. “Are they alright?”

“Yeah. Tay’s started high school, which is terrifying because I still look at her like she’s five.” Lauren says, glancing out of the window, almost as if she’s trying to send some sort of telepathic goodbye to the airport. “Chris starts his senior year in September, and the parents are fine. Sometimes arguing, but not- not as much as they did when we were still close. They’re definitely way happier.”

“That’s good to hear,” Lucy smiles, “I’m glad things are okay with them. Your family were always super nice to me.”

Lauren shrugs. “Yeah. I guess. I mean- when I came out to them, they were kind of… off about it. Like, my mom told me I was probably just ‘confused’ and my dad- well my dad told me he’d love me no matter what, but then said that I should ‘think about things more’ before labelling myself.”

Lucy cringes. “I hate people like that. If you straight up say you’re gay, you don’t get any of that. But apparently bisexuality is too hard for some people to comprehend.”

“I just wish they’d be like, _yeah, cool, thanks for being honest with us_ and move on, you know?” Lauren lets out a sigh. “My siblings were really accepting.”

“Have you still not told the girls?” At her words, Lauren shakes her head. “How do you think they’d react?”

“I don’t know. I think they’d be fine with it,” Lauren replies, uncertainty written on her face. “Mani, Ally and Dinah would be. For definite. I don’t know if Camila would take it the wrong way. I know she’s not homophobic, obviously, but she might- the Camren thing…”

“If she’s really your friend, she wouldn’t think of it like that.” Lucy points out. “I know you mentioned you two had grown apart, but from what I remember, she was a sweet girl. And she like, thought really highly of you back then.”

“Things change,” Lauren murmurs, “time does a lot.”

Lucy hums in thought. “Yeah. But you don’t seem too different. One of the things I was worried about was that maybe you’d changed a lot and our personalities would clash. But that doesn’t seem to have happened. You’re still you. Just… with a more mature vibe.”

“Mature vibe?” Lauren repeats, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Alright. I’ll take that.”

Lucy can’t help but smile back. “You- um, I’m going to say something and you might think it’s weird.”

“Weirdness is subjective,” Lauren points out, “tell me the gossip, Luc.”

“It’s not really gossip,” Lucy says, looking over Lauren, how her figure looks perfect in the jeans and sweatshirt she’s wearing, how her facial features have matured and how she seems to have grown a couple of inches, but those bright green eyes are still exactly the same. “You look really beautiful, Lo.”

When Lauren’s cheeks show a little tinge of pink, Lucy can’t help but feel a little proud of herself. “Thanks, Luc. You too, actually. And that’s totally not weird.”

“You got a tattoo when you turned eighteen, right?” Lucy asks, watching as Lauren nods in confirmation. “Show me it. Unless it’s in a compromising position.”

Lauren snorts, and flips her hair over, turning around as much as she can in her seat with the seatbelt restraining her. “There. It’s the dragonfly I told you about. I kind of want to get another, actually. The number twenty seven in roman numerals.”

“I’ll go with you, if you want,” Lucy says, looking over the intricate dragonfly on the back of Lauren’s neck. When her friend turns around and sends her an odd look, she continues. “I’ve been wanting to get another one myself. On my foot, hopefully.”

“Alright, then.” Lauren easily replies. “We’ll go when I have a day off. I think we have one in three days, if you’re wanting to go as soon as possible.”

“Okay,” Lucy nods, “three days it is. Anyway, I’m looking forward to seeing the girls again. They were all really nice from what I remember.”

“We fight sometimes, but yeah,” Lauren laughs, “they’re my girls. Even if things aren’t perfect right now.”

“Can I ask you something deep?” Lucy decides to test their boundaries before saying anything, because the last thing she wants to do is upset Lauren in any way. “Only if you’re cool with it.”

“Yeah,” Lauren says after a moment’s silence. “Go for it.”

“Do you like it all?” Lucy asks. “I know that when we stopped talking, Fifth Harmony weren’t really _famous_. But now it’s like- I turn on the radio and _Worth It_ is always playing. Do you like this whole… thing?”

“Sometimes no. Sometimes yes.” Lauren glances down at her feet. “I feel bad when I resent it all. Because so many people would _kill_ to be doing this. Hell, sixteen year old Lauren _dreamed_ about this kind of thing. But I don’t know if… if this is for me. Sometimes there’s nothing I crave more than anonymity. The music industry isn’t what I thought it’d be. But I still love to sing, and I get to do that as my _career_. Not many people can say that.”

Lucy watches as Lauren rubs her knee, and she remembers that that’s one of her nervous ticks. “I feel like you’d rather be doing your own thing sometimes. Right?”

“You can still read me like an open book, Luc.” Lauren lets out a tiny laugh. “Yeah. I’d prefer… small scale stuff. Not… international fame. I love the girls so much, but every time we hit another huge milestone, like how big _Worth It_ is getting, it just… drains me. _God_ , I’m spilling my guts to you and you’re basically- you probably don’t even-”

“I care,” Lucy confirms for her; Lauren was her best friend for years and they’re trying to reconnect. Of course she cares. “If you hate it so much, leave. You shouldn’t feel like you have to stick around for other people’s sake.”

“It’s not that I hate it. I love the girls and I love working with them.” Lauren is quick to reply. “I’d never leave the group. They’d have to kick me out to get rid of me. It’s just that since we’re blowing up, everyone seems to want something and I feel like I’m suffocating. That’s kind of why I texted you.”

“What?” Lucy raises her eyebrows and sends Lauren a teasing smile, “you want something from me?”

“No, oh my god,” Lauren doesn’t pick up on her teasing and shakes her head, “you always seemed to make things easier when we were younger, and you were one of my best friends. We were like soulmates, like I said on the phone. I figured maybe reconnecting you would help me… help me find myself again. Because I’m kind of lost right now.”

Lucy tries her best to give Lauren a hug, but the seatbelts don’t exactly make the task very easy. “I missed you too, you know. I never understood why we drifted.”

“We got busy,” Lauren replies, “you with college. Me with… all of this craziness. I’m sorry I stopped talking to you as much. Things got insane and I got caught up in it. But… I want to try again. I want you back, Luc.”

“I know,” Lucy replies, reaching over and squeezing Lauren’s hands. “You have me. As long as you want me, Lo. I promise.”

“Okay,” Lauren murmurs. “Good. You’re going to have a good two weeks, Luc. I promise you that. You won’t want to leave by the end of it.”

“Sure, Jauregui,” Lucy laughs, “I bet _you’ll_ be the one begging me to stay.”

Lauren just smirks at her. “We’ll see about that.”


	3. III

The second they get back to the venue and they both hear soundcheck already commencing, Lauren glances at her with a mischievous glint in her eye. “Damn. Looks like soundcheck has already started. Too bad the traffic is so bad that we’re still half an hour away.”

Lucy rolls her eyes. “Get your ass out there, Lo. I’m fine by myself for a little while.”

“That wouldn’t be very welcoming.” Lauren replies, tugging her away from the stage and towards the dressing room. “Anyway, I already texted the group chat to tell them I’m stuck in traffic. So… you and I are free to do whatever the hell we want until the girls finish. Then I guess I’ll be reintroducing you guys, but they all know you’re coming.”

Lucy shrugs. “I only really knew Camila anyway, since she lives in Miami too. Do you guys still hang out on breaks?”

If anything, Lauren seems to deflate. “No. She’s… busy. A lot. Whatever that means. Like I said, we drifted, but it’s kind of my fault anyway. It always seems to be my fault. I pushed you away, I pushed _her_ away, and here I go getting all fucking emotional again.”

“Nothing wrong with showing your emotions,” Lucy comments as Lauren flops down onto a couch. She follows her friend’s lead, albeit a little more gracefully, and eyes Lauren’s hand that’s rested in the middle of the couch. She kind of hates herself when she gets the urge to hold it. “You’re a lot less closed off than you were a few years ago. That’s good. It shows that you’re getting more comfortable with yourself and stuff.”

“I’m not-” Lauren cuts herself off with a sigh, “I’m still closed off. I think it’s just you. Did you drug me or something?”

Lucy snorts. “I guess _you’ll_ have to drug _me_ to find out.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “I guess I’m just comfortable around you, Luc. But that’s not really a surprise. I’d rather keep the deep conversations for when we inevitably get our hands on some wine and get drunk together though. Like we did that time I stayed at your house and we broke into your mom’s liquor cabinet.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m _still_ grounded for that, you know.” Lucy gives Lauren a light shove, pushing aside the way something inside her seems to shift at the contact. She decides that she’s going to wait a little while until she keeps going with the physical contact. “You’re such a bad influence on me, Jauregui.”

“ _Please_ , your family practically adopted me.” Lauren retorts. “In fact, I distinctly recall a point in freshman year when your mom said – and I _quote_ – Lucia, you should be more like Lauren. Take _that_.”

“That was freshman year, though,” Lucy shoots back, “you were like, the epitome of cute and innocent back then. Look at you now; you’re already telling me we’re getting drunk later, _and_ when you eighteen you’ve gone all wild and gotten a tattoo _and_ a nose piercing. That’s hardly a good influence. And you’re trying to rope me into getting a tattoo with you.”

“I thought I’d already convinced you to do that,” Lauren raises an eyebrow in amusement, “I guess I’m going to have to be a little more persuasive.”

If Lucy didn’t know better, she’d say that sounded a whole lot like flirting, and she has no idea how to take that. But she’s pretty certain it’s not, for three reasons. One, she’s barely spoken to Lauren for two years, two, Lauren was like a sister to her before they’d drifted apart, and three, she’s Lauren fucking Jauregui, and she could literally get anyone she wanted.

So, Lucy decides to change the subject. Kind of. “Does it count as a deep conversation if I asked when you had your bisexual awakening?”

Lauren chokes on the Diet Coke she’s drinking. “Bisexual awakening? _Really_? That’s the one term you had to use for it?”

Lucy can’t help but laugh at her friend’s reaction. “Well, the reaction was pretty amazing, so I’d say yes. Please tell me the deep story of your-”

“Bisexual awakening, yeah, yeah,” Lauren rolls her eyes and clears her throat, “well, uh, it was when we were still friends, actually. When the whole Camren thing started getting to me – you know at first I figured it was just harmless fun, but that changed. The Harmonizers would joke about it when Camila and I started to get a little distant and they’d act like it was because we had something to hide, and they were right. I was pushing Camila away because I’d realised I probably liked girls and for some reason the fans knew that because of how close we were.”

“Nothing ever went on between you two?” Lucy asks, and at Lauren’s irritated expression, she tries her best to make amends. “I’ll believe you. No matter what. Promise.”

“We… kissed a few times. I was kind of… her first kiss.” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and sighs. “And that was when I freaked out and pushed her away. Then she started dating Mahone and we’ve not spoken about it since. I didn’t have anybody to talk to – by the time I was fully ready to admit it to myself, we’d pretty much stopped talking – and eventually I did the only thing I could think of; anon ask known not-straight Harmonizers on Tumblr. Believe it or not, some of the fans that terrified me in the first place actually helped me accept it. And now I’m… comfortable enough to tell a few people.”

Lucy hums in reply. “You could’ve texted me earlier, you know.”

“Oh, yeah, totally,” Lauren sarcastically responds, “ _Hi, Luc, I know I haven’t spoken to you in forever, but please help me in my big gay crisis._ That’d really have gone down well.”

Lucy bursts out laughing, and Lauren can’t help but join in. “Well, maybe if you worded it a little better…”

After their laughter subsides, Lauren rests her head on Lucy’s shoulder – to the older girl’s surprise – and lets out a small sigh. “I missed this, Luc. You were always so easy to talk to.”

“I missed this too, Lo.” Lucy promises her – she’d definitely been a little hurt when their communication had stopped, and she’d figured they’d never rekindle what they had. She thought Lauren would just forget about it all. About her. “I was so surprised when you texted me. I didn’t realise you still had my number.”

“I’d been thinking about texting you for a while.” Lauren admits. “Of course I kept your number. I never deleted any of our conversations, either. I know it sounds pretty fucking pathetic, but I’d read through some of them when I was upset… which is a lot, lately.”

Biting back her fear, Lucy grabs hold of Lauren’s hand – because if Lauren isn’t afraid of affection, she shouldn’t be either – and gives it a small squeeze. “What held you back? Why didn’t you text me sooner?”

“I figured you’d just ignore me.” Lauren murmurs, and Lucy wants to cry when teary green eyes look up at her. “I didn’t exactly try my hardest to keep in contact.”

“In case you didn’t notice, neither did I.” Lucy points out. “The last person to text was _you_. I didn’t reply to the birthday message. And then you were the one who texted me about this. Even when you could’ve had Alexa or your dad, mom, sister, brother, _whoever_ on this tour with you for two weeks. You made an effort.”

“Sometimes I wonder if things could’ve been different.” Lauren mumbles. “If we never stopped talking, maybe I’d be… more comfortable. With the whole bi thing. Maybe I’d be out to the girls.”

“Then we can work on that.” Lucy says. “I’m no stranger to coming out to people. We can work on talking to the girls if you want. I’ll be there if you need me.”

“You’d seriously do that?” Lauren frowns. “Like… you’d come out with me?”

“You’re my friend, Lo. Even if we did have a little friendship break for a while.” Lucy reminds her, giving her a playful nudge and finally letting go of Lauren’s hand. “If you want, we can tell them all together at some point in the next two weeks. Or we can work our way around them individually. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable.”

Lauren hums in thought. “I think… two on one would make me feel better. Individually for definite. I want to talk to Mani first though… I tell her about everything and I feel kind of mean keeping something like this from her. I know she won’t care but it’s terrifying.”

“Jesus Christ, you’re a closet case,” Lucy jokes, laughing when Lauren sends her a small glare. “How’d you manage to tell your family?”

“Chris happened to ask me really loudly in front of everyone at the dinner table if I was taking a trip to _island of the Lesbos._ After a very awkward and rushed denial, my dad told me they wouldn’t love me any less if I was gay,” Lauren shrugs, “so I asked them how they’d feel if I was bi. And that’s kind of how I came out. With a rhetorical question.”

“So… your brother’s still an idiot?” Lucy asks, successfully making Lauren choke on her drink again with laughter. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Before Lauren can reply, Lucy hears a loud voice from the doorway and they both nearly jump out of their skin. “Wow, Lauser, you conveniently managed to make it back _just_ as soundcheck ended. Look at that.”

After composing herself, Lauren snorts. “Don’t act like you bought that excuse anyway, DJ. You remember Lucy, right?”

“I think we all do,” Dinah replies, rolling her eyes, “hey, Lucy. Nice to see you again. Not much has changed except Fifth Harmony are gearing up for literal world domination. Oh, and Mila kind of got hot too.”

Lauren coughs and shakes her head. “You’re so weird.”

“I’m hot?” Camila sends Dinah a frown and looks equally as surprised to see Lucy. “Oh, Lucy? I didn’t know you were coming.”

While Lucy’s a little confused that Lauren didn’t mention anything to her, she puts on a smile, and doesn’t comment on how Dinah’s kind of right. The last time she saw Camila, she was a shy, awkward sixteen year old. The Camila that just walked into the room is far from that. Lucy’s talking to a confident young woman.

“Uh, yeah, Lauren and I kind of decided on it last minute.” Lucy turns to Lauren and sends her a look that reads _we’ll talk about this later_. “Aka, she texted me in the middle of the night and practically _begged me_ to come and see her.”

“Okay, no,” Lauren shakes her head, “there was no begging involved. Apparently _someone_ likes to twist things around now.”

“Oh, well,” Camila looks between them for a moment and shrugs, “nice to see you again.”

“You too,” Lucy awkwardly replies, sending a smile and a “hello,” to Ally as the shorter girl walks in.

She barely gets a chance to greet Normani before Lauren has jumped up, grabbed onto both her and Normani’s wrists and dragged them out of the room.

“Lo, not that I don’t love you and all, but we _just_ finished soundcheck,” Normani says as Lauren starts stalking towards the tour bus, “at least let me get some Cheetos or something. Damn.”

“I have to tell you something,” Lauren says, and Lucy’s shocked that she’s going through with this so quickly, “but it needs to be in private. Lucy volunteered to help.”

“Actually, I mostly just volunteered moral support,” Lucy points out, “but whatever you need, Lo.”

Normani raises an eyebrow. “You’re not dying, are you? Because you’ve been acting weird lately, and it’d make sense if you were like, being all distant because you don’t want us to be sad. But like, we kind of need you not to die, because we don’t want to replace you and _Fourth Harmony_ sounds damn ridiculous-”

Lauren doesn’t cut her off until they’re in the tour bus with the door closed. “I’m not dying. Calm down.”

“Is this going to explain why you’re acting so weird lately?” Normani asks, sitting down and sending Lauren an odd look. “Or are you just going to tell me something completely out of the blue?”

“Um… a little bit of both, I guess.” Lauren says, pulling Lucy down next to her and grabbing her hand. “I’m- um, I’ve been kind of… confused for the past few years? I guess that’s how you put it. And I mean, I know I’ve had rants about it before and denied every single accusation the fans put out there, but I can’t- I’ve finally… accepted it.”

When Lauren doesn’t continue, Normani speaks up. “Please don’t tell me that you and Mila secretly eloped or something ridiculous like that.”

Lauren turns bright red, “No! No, it’s not- I’m bi. That’s it. I’m not- there’s nothing going on between Camila and I, that part is complete fiction. But I do… I do like girls.”

Normani is silent for a moment, and Lucy squeezes Lauren’s hand and traces her thumb over the younger girl’s knuckles in an effort to comfort her. When Normani finally speaks, she can practically feel the tension leave Lauren’s body. “Well… I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“I-” Lauren blinks at her, “ _what_?”

“Don’t think I haven’t seen you checking out different female celebrities at award shows.” Normani sends her a smirk. “I notice things. You could’ve talked to me before, you know.”

“Yeah, well…” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and shrugs. “It’s not exactly easy to accept when you’re being pressured by a bunch of overly-invasive fourteen year olds online to date your bandmate.”

“Your fans are like, your age, Lo,” Lucy points out, “do you just _not_ look at the crowd when you’re on stage or something?”

Lauren laughs and nudges her. “Shut up. You know what I meant.”

“So, like… are you two a thing or something?” Normani asks, gesturing between them and nodding to their interlocked fingers. “Because you’re kind of holding hands and Lucy’s here for _moral support_ but she hasn’t exactly said anything other than mocked you for thinking our fans are twelve.”

“I think Lauren did alright by herself,” Lucy replies, “but no. We’re not… we’re just friends.”

“Friends who are reconnecting after a long time of being apart.” Lauren adds. “Oh, by the way, you’re sharing my bunk in the bus. We don’t have any spares so you’re in with me and my cold feet.”

“That’s fine,” Lucy sends her a small smile. “Anyway, do you feel better now?”

“Definitely,” Lauren nods and looks over to Normani, “by the way, none of the girls know. So… yeah. Don’t say anything to them. My family and Alexa know though. Lucy too, obviously.”

“My lips are sealed,” Normani promises, standing up, “now I’m going to get my long overdue Cheetos. See you in a few.”

“Later,” Lauren watches after Normani as she leaves, and then turns to Lucy with a grin. “So… we have a few hours to kill before I need to get ready for the show tonight. What do you want to do?”

Lucy just smiles. “I was thinking we do our old favourite activity.”

“Watch _American Horror Story_ and eat as much popcorn as possible?” Lauren asks. At Lucy’s nod, she grins. “Okay then. Deal.”


	4. IV

Lucy’s been with Lauren for three days, and she’s decided that she doesn’t want to leave. Considering she was dreading the whole two weeks with her ex best friend, she’s glad for this outcome. They’ve spent the past few days hanging out when Lauren isn’t busy with soundchecks, meet and greets or concerts, curled up in Lauren’s bunk watching as many TV shows as they can and staying up as late as possible, talking over different theories about the shows and the characters.

Lucy had never realised how much she’d missed Lauren until now. Lauren was the one person she’d clicked with and had understood her entirely, and she finally has her best friend back.

On Lucy’s third night on the Summer Reflection Tour, she and Lauren get drunk off red wine and lock themselves in the back room of the tour bus, giggling about old high school inside jokes and people they’d loved and hated.

“Luc, no,” Lauren laughs and pulls her onto the couch, “you don’t understand, I like, wish I could rewind time. Wouldn’t that be so cool?”

Lucy snorts and takes another sip of the wine – they’re on their second bottle and are passing it between each other. “Cool, but impossible.”

Lauren lets out a moan and Lucy finds herself wishing she’d caused it. “I _know_. But I wish I could rewind to- to before my audition. For X Factor. Because I don’t think I’d still go through with it.”

Lucy frowns, knowing that they’re on a serious topic, but a little too intoxicated to stop her friend from talking. She doubts either of them will remember this in the morning. “Why not? You love singing and stuff.”

“I know, I know, I know,” Lauren mumbles, snuggling up to her, “but I just- I want to be _normal_. I don’t want fans. I want to be- to be in college with you and for… I want a girlfriend. I fucking _love_ girls.”

“Mmm, I know,” Lucy agrees, “girls are pretty dope.”

Lauren shifts so she’s facing her, and green eyes sweep across her face for a moment. “Can I- you’re really pretty, Luc.”

“Thanks, Lo,” Lucy murmurs in reply, “That’s sweet. You’re so _nice_.”

“I’m-” Lauren cuts herself off and cups Lucy’s face with her hands, “I want to kiss you. I’m going to kiss you, kay?”

Deep down, rational, sober Lucy knows it’s a bad idea. But irrational and drunk Lucy honestly doesn’t care, because a hot girl is offering to kiss her, and she’s not about to turn that down.

So, Lucy nods and mumbles out a, “Yeah, sure.”

-

They don’t talk about it.

It’s not that Lucy _wants_ to talk about it, because that’d cause an onslaught of awkward and they still have a week and a half to spend together. It’s just weird, because she can’t stop thinking about it.

She knows it was just a drunken mistake and that Lauren probably doesn’t even remember it, but it brings back too many memories from the past. Like how they were each other’s first kiss, because they were both twelve and thought it was too old to be _twelve_ and not kissed anybody.

Like how after that, they’d shared a few more innocent kisses throughout middle school.

It reminds her too much of when she’d slept over at Lauren’s after their first day of freshman year, and they’d kissed in the dark and their hands had wandered a little more than they should.

It reminds her of how one night, she was kissing Lauren in her bedroom, and the next day, Lauren had her first boyfriend, and suddenly she was kissing him. But then they’d broken up, and Lauren was kissing her again like nothing had changed.

It reminds her of when they were sixteen and Lauren had come over to her house and said, _“_ I’m going to audition for The X Factor,” and Lucy had kissed her and told her how proud she was. And how later that night, their hands wandered more than usual and they’d shared their first time together.

They never spoke about any of that, either.

It’s sort of an implied rule between them; anything more than a platonic hug, they don’t talk about.

So, Lucy doesn’t bring up the drunken kiss. It was just that, anyway – an innocent peck on the lips, followed by giggles and a comment from Lauren about how much she’d missed her.

(Plus, there’s no point in bringing up what Lauren doesn’t remember.)

-

The night after their kiss, Lucy watches Fifth Harmony’s show from backstage. She saw it on the first night, and it’s the same setlist, but she loves seeing her friend do what she’s absolutely amazing at.

When the show finishes and the girls close with _Worth It_ , Lauren bounds off stage and practically pounces on her with a hug. “Hey, Luc. You didn’t have to watch the show, you know.”

“I wanted to,” Lucy tells her as Lauren lets go, “I’m here to support you.”

Lauren flashes her a bright smile and surprises her completely by taking her hand. “Come on. Let’s go to the bus.”

Lucy raises an eyebrow. “Don’t you need to get out of costume first?”

Lauren looks down at herself and her eyes widen, “Shit, yeah, just… wait here for me?”

“Sure,” Lucy promises, watching as Lauren runs to catch up with Dinah and Camila. She doesn’t take long – though, Lucy’s not sure how long she takes on most nights – and Lauren returns wearing an oversized sweater and jeans. “You were quick.”

Lauren shrugs. “I’m used to getting dressed quickly. Especially being on a tight schedule like we usually are.”

Lucy’s a little stunned when Lauren takes hold of her hand again, but she doesn’t comment on it. Because they don’t do that. They don’t talk about things. “What’s the plan for tonight, then?”

“Well, we soaked up my wine supply,” Lauren tells her, “so… pizza and a movie with the girls? I’m sure we can get the driver to stop by a nearby pizza place.”

“That sounds like fun,” Lucy smiles, “I haven’t had much chance to talk to the girls much. Camila is… a lot quieter than the last time I saw her, though.”

Lauren sighs. “Yeah. She’s kind of distant lately. But when this tour finishes we’ve got like, a month and a half off which we’ll be in the studio for, then we’ve got the European tour, and then we’ve got an actual break which I can’t wait for. I’m sure she probably feels the same.”

Lucy hums in thought. “Still a lot of things to do before that, though.”

“I know,” Lauren nods in agreement and opens the door to the tour bus. “I actually wanted to talk to you about that. My time off, I mean. The European tour finishes mid-November, and I’ll have time off until the first single off our album drops. And- um, I’ll be free around your birthday, if you want to… do something. For that, and for the New Year.”

“Yeah,” Lucy replies, “yeah, I’d love that, actually.”

“Good,” Lauren smiles, “um… I was thinking maybe a road trip? Or a trip to Columbia. Or both, even.”

“I like the sound of that.” Lucy says. “We’ll talk details later, okay? I think you need to chill out. You’ve just been singing _and_ doing intense choreography for the past hour.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Lauren agrees, and pulls her into the back room of the tour bus with a grin. “I need a break. Want to watch Spongebob with me?”

“ _Spongebob?”_ Lucy repeats, letting Lauren drag her to the couch. “Really?”

“ _Yes_ , really. It’s actually very entertaining,” Lauren argues, “so you can either sit here and watch Spongebob with me like a good best friend, or you can go and be a loner and sit in my bunk by yourself. What’s it going to be, _Lucia_?”

Lucy just laughs. “Spongebob it is, _Lauren Michelle_.”


End file.
